2017-05-24
Why i stopped playing table tennis
Around the peak of my burn out, would be the short answer. And at some point, i was too old for the youth teams, so i had to do my table tennis training with older people, which was fine, but i felt too young among them. The age gap was quite high. And it was before i got my body weight down to normal. Because of this, i was never really on top, just good enough to play in a team against other clubs.
I always liked it, because there is not much running involved. It was still a fast ball sport, where you have to be awake and focused. But i joined rather late in 2001 a table tennis club, though officially not until May 2002. I like to do things quick and precise. Small actions can lead to big points. And this is why i played it for around 8 years at DJK Blau-Weiß Friesdorf. Thanks to trainer Klaus Heimers for showing me some basics.
Once i won the "Saison 2003/2004-Hinserie" in the E-Klasse at WTTV Kreis Bonn, together with Kevin Izzadeen, Kyrill Ring, and Richard Rieb. I don't think i wasted my time, because i met pleasant people, who really care about what they do. Something that bound us together for the moment. I still own my Newgy Robo-Pong 540 table tennis robot and have my "ping pong" table in the attic above us. Thanks to the nice mother of our landlord, who allowed me this a long time ago.
But i needed to do a reset on all my activities, because it was too much. I had already merged a couple of my web projects together and discontinued other services completely. And it felt good to have space to move the focus to somewhere else, because i got time to change or start things that made me more happy. I would never have done my trail of thousand origami cranes with all the weight i had back then.
It was an act of desperation, i wasn't forced to do it, it was just everything i knew to be true at that time. I buried myself into all the things and i haven't even asked, how i'm doing, and what can i do to be happy. I realized i was miserable and i lost the connection to myself. I kept doing the same thing and was expecting a different result. Something had to change, or it would be stupid. Life was drowning me, and i needed a break. At that point, i felt this was my only option.